[ reki refuses to meet his eyes, at least at first. that no is so sobering, frighteningly so. it's the difference between having a handle on this situation, having control and yet remaining detached enough to not have anything to lose. take all that away and he's just terrified.
which, he has every reason to be. kojiro's asking him something in earnest and he's already making the same mistakes he made with langa. and sure, both of them are very good at concealing hurt, but reki feels it like something dying deep inside of him—he always does, every time.
there isn't anything he can do to take that hurt away; it'll always be there for him to see, an ugly scar on their relationship that'll haunt him forever. if kojiro wants to hide it away, that's fine—reki is wearing it for him now, his face twisted and tortured as he reaches out to firmly squeeze kojiro's arm. ]
It doesn't get any better than you, man.
[ there's a certain voice he only ever uses with kojiro, ever since that first time watching the sun set and talking out his first little episode. but using it now, after he's been mean, puts him in way too vulnerable a place. he can feel another break coming, and fast, so his request is an urgent one: ]
no subject
which, he has every reason to be. kojiro's asking him something in earnest and he's already making the same mistakes he made with langa. and sure, both of them are very good at concealing hurt, but reki feels it like something dying deep inside of him—he always does, every time.
there isn't anything he can do to take that hurt away; it'll always be there for him to see, an ugly scar on their relationship that'll haunt him forever. if kojiro wants to hide it away, that's fine—reki is wearing it for him now, his face twisted and tortured as he reaches out to firmly squeeze kojiro's arm. ]
It doesn't get any better than you, man.
[ there's a certain voice he only ever uses with kojiro, ever since that first time watching the sun set and talking out his first little episode. but using it now, after he's been mean, puts him in way too vulnerable a place. he can feel another break coming, and fast, so his request is an urgent one: ]
Can we get outta here?